Intersections

Many relationships come to a point of intersection. What happens at that point depends on many factors. One would think that as with any other intersection, all parties may want to stop and look both ways before barreling through and causing an accident. This doesn't often happen though.

At the intersection between the ending of my previous relationship and the beginning of the one I've been in for quite some time now, I thought: do I stay where things were clearly had not been moving for quite some time, or do I journey on to where I believed my heart could find a place to love and grow?

The hardest parts about being at that intersection surrounded a spouse who didn’t seem to give two hoots before — but after I sought to follow a love that promised to "give a hoot"? That is when the battle began to rage.
Was the battle one of a husband who had finally "seen the light" and was willing to do the hard things to recreate a marriage full of love, growth and autonomy? No. The battle that was waged was one of “if you don’t do what I tell you —  I will take your children from you.” This type of intersection is not solely my own. I have read this story so many times since I barely survived on so many levels as a result of the wars with my ex-husband.  

Here’s a good rule of thumb… if the person didn’t care enough while they were married to a woman to love her and make the marriage a loving and safe haven while they were lucky enough to have that woman in their life? Then chances are they aren't interested in anything other than saving pride and inflicting wounds. And the worst possible way they could seek to wound women once the relationship is over? *Attack them as mothers. *Threaten to take their children — or just as insidious? *Alienate affections of the children from their mother. 

Relationships end. That is part of life. But does it have to be a time of prolonged stealing, crashing and wounding? Or could it just be an intersection of life where two people move on — safely in differing directions. 

In a perfect world people would be able to peacefully meet back at a more healthy intersection to share the children — not divide or tear them apart. 

“I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. This is why right - temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant.” (Martin Luther King, Jr.)

Just a couple more thoughts penned by a friend:

Remember that the actions and beliefs of another person will never change your love for your children or for those around you who are true and good.
Their actions and beliefs are powerless, and will:
Never destroy your love
Never shatter your hope
Never corrode you faith
Never kill your friendship
Never suppress your memories
Never silence your courage
Never invade the soul
and can Never steal eternal life
Nor can they ever conquer your spirit.
Their actions and beliefs will however, continue to corrode their judgments and minds. 

one little gay anomaly

I have often wondered about something. Why do “good, conservative heterosexual” males seem to have only one exception to the “gay abomination” deal? Is this their one little gay anomaly?
I remember thinking how ridiculous “straight porn” was when a major component was two straight women spanking each other. Seriously? Who decided that was going to be the ticket?
So... in this American conservative society you have to be straight and married to someone of the opposite sex to be “acceptable” (normal). But if your boyfriend/husband wants to see you do it with another woman–there is your gay (bisexual, bi-curious) “get out of jail free” card? Hmm...

same-sex-relationships
gay-life

Surprise!

Do you love surprises? I used to.
Now, there are very few that I would actually welcome. There is one whammy that I absolutely do not welcome.

Why can't people spend their energy focusing on their own lives, rather than trolling around other people's lives -- seeking what else they can take from another person.
Seriously. ☑ Grow up. ☑ Move on. ☑ Go away.

Too Soft for Dobson?

UPDATE: “Focus on the Family” has admitted this week (May 24, 2011) that it is losing the battle on same-sex marriage, particularly among young people. No wonder Dobson said that F.O.T.F. is too soft for him!

As someone who grew up being burnt by adults who espoused Dobson’s fiery rhetoric, I am not at all surprised to hear that evidently he believes his organization “Focus on the Family” had gone too soft for him. I wonder how many real families out there have been hurt more than helped by Dobson through the decades. I personally know of plenty.

“Dobson’s departure from Focus only to start a similar ministry has some outside observers speculating that Dobson was forced out of Focus–and that a bitter Dobson decided to create a competing organization. Dobson, they say, may also feel that Focus’ kinder and gentler approach under CEO and president Jim Daly is not doing the trick, motivating Dobson to start a family nonprofit where fiery rhetoric is the norm.“

Well, whatever the real back story (my gut instinct has never trusted in the impetuous impulsion of Dobson). Here is a little more information on Dobson’s new venture, and then further information on the growing disharmony in the F.O.T.F. camp. From all I have seen, Dobson has ever really been a bridge builder.

religion-and-politics
gay-life
politics

Bridge Burning

For those who know the history of my blog, that has been traveling the web for about 5 years now, will understand the title of this post.
I remember one day I was looking for the perfect burning bridges song on the web. I just could not find one that I really liked. Until yesterday... The new Foo Fighters album came out...
This is not the first time I have posted a Foo Fighters song that I really love. Here is my current fav. song from the new album: Bridge Burning.

(You can click on the pic. to hear the live performance from Monday's installment of the Daily Show.)

"Your bridges are burning down
They're all coming down
It's all coming round
You're burning them down
It's all coming round
They're all coming down
Your bridges are burning now

Oh let me put you in your place
I love it when you say
Giving everything away

Tell now what's in it for me
Tell me now what's in it for me
No one's getting this for free
Tell me now what's in it for me
Whatever keeps you warm at night"

(Lyrics and song by Foo Fighters)

Let go of what you think you know

I have had so much sadness and frustration surrounding how individuals who were once friends, allies or even family, use religion to control, damage or sever relationships. I have posted about these types of situations at various times in the past.
Recently I read something on a blog that (IMHO) gets it right. Something I wish those aforementioned friends or family would be able to really and truly internalize and live.

Quote: So what is it about? Forget the rules. Forget the religion. My faith is grounded in a relationship with a person. A person who’s an example of how to live right. … Someone who knows me – who really knows me – and who chooses to love me anyway. Someone who has the authority – and chooses to use it –  to forgive me my biggest mistakes. Someone who keeps on giving me second chances. Someone who frees me to get up, brush myself down, and try to do better next time.

The person in Jesus.

YES! I would even add “Amen!” Why is it that Christians hide behind “love…” while cracking a bat to the back of your knees with “…but, hate the sin”?
I have often commented “everything after the ‘but’ is true.”
That is exactly how it feels. It is so disingenuous to hear “I love you, oh… but I hate who you are.” Don't hide behind love to spread hate.

Beware the Gay Agenda!

I have often wondered exactly what is the gay agenda. Here is an interesting little ditty I found today... I'll let you check out the site that I found this quote on in order to determine if it is genuine --- or if it is tongue in cheek. Either way, pretty funny!

"As every Christian knows, there is only one enemy that threatens our entire civilization. And I am, of course, not talking about Satan. I'm talking about those damned homosexuals! Yes, they give otherwise dull hair radiant highlights and our imperfect décor those fabulous flourishes that elude our more predictable heterosexual sensibilities, but at what price? In exchange for a little panache, we allow homosexuals to steal our children and destroy our Christian marriages. And how do they do this? With their secret masterplan -- The Homosexual Agenda!"

What will your gay agenda be today? Share it below...
if ... you ... dare!

same-sex-relationships
gay-life
lgbt