Pride!!!!!

You can tell when your life has become way too busy when you do not have time to go to your local city's pride week and attend the parades & celebrations. We missed Philly Pride Week this year. Maybe next year! :)

What was your "coming out" experience like?           

Share in comments here below... or at either of my "coming out" related posts at the original Bridges blog.

What's in a name?

As a female who was married to a male for more than a decade - and then found the love of my life in a female - it is been very difficult when people want to "label" (Way _off_ TARGET!) me. What is _IN_ a "name"? Does the outward label change who we are inside? All I know is we all deserve to be who we are without Borders without lines without labels.

Golden? Or tarnished...

Remember the old saying "silence is golden"? I'm not sure that is always the case. Internet trolls may have "silenced" my Wordpress blog in 2010, and similarly the roar went to a whisper here at Blogger by late 2012.
No more fear. No more silence. No more bullying. No more capitulating to fear mongering, no more hate & bigotry. No more #transphobia! No more #homophobia.
Get on the right side of history... the life you save just may be your teen or one of their friends. 

More at my Wordpress Bridge "home"...

https://bridgeout.wordpress.com/

Remember... those so far askew of reality or veracity shall always remain way _off_ TARGET!

What everyone should know about the Gay Agenda

 

I guess there really is a lot to consider... and "fear"...

 

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Does "PRIDE" hurt the LGBT cause?

It's that time of year again! In many cities all over the country today is PRIDE day!

And the question above is one that a couple gay male friends and I were discussing recently. The discussion went something like this.

We spend every other day of the year trying to "be taken seriously" -- trying to show the straight community that we don't have a "lifestyle" rather we have a "normal life." We go to work, take care of our families, pay our taxes, etc... "Normal."

But then for one weekend a year we as an LGBT community bring out our freak flag and fly it on main street America -- in a full blown live and in color parade fashion no less!

Are PRIDE parades and festivals a bad thing? Of course not! I have been to, and enjoyed, several!

And my favorite thing about PRIDE weekend has always been being able to wander around holding hands with my lover without people throwing things at me. And yet, at the risk of getting things "thrown at me" here -- I have to admit that I have "cringed" at some aspects of the PRIDE parades I have seen. Why??? Only because I knew that the straight community also sees them and will use the "freak flag flying moments" as ammunition to discriminate against the gay community the rest of the year (and especially in an election year).

Back to the question. Does "PRIDE" hurt the LGBT cause? I don't know. But, be that as it may, my LGBT friends, enjoy your PRIDE weekend! And always let your freak flag fly!

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GLBT

religion-and-politics
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We did not start the fire

Has anyone ever really changed their position on anything because of a sign? Who are these people who feel it to be their mission in life to chide and condemn others with paper placards?
If you must go there, what part of "all have sinned and fall short" do people forget? And why is "gay" the most sign worthy sin?
Now, here is an excellent -- must read -- article addressing some of these things. 



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Marriage & Relationship Recognition

There's no place like home...

For better or worse... it all starts at home. 
Whether children are raised to carry on their parent's homophobia as they go out into the world, or whether they are raised within a safe, loving but non-traditional home -- each next generation often lives their lives according to the framework that was initially built at home.  
One example of the way homes are changing is a 25 year study that shows kids of lesbian couples are the recipients of a great parenting environment in which to be nurtured and reared.

There are many struggles that gay and lesbian families cope with on a regular basis. Such as: not being acknowledged in their communities as “real” families, constant barrage of persecution from ex’s or other family and friends who come to the table with their own acrimony, compounded by the lack of family and relationship protections (“rights”).
All families have challenges! Whether they are comprised of “nuclear” or blended, or LGBT members… safely guiding children to adulthood is not for the faint of heart! No matter how many longitudinal studies there are, there will always be detractors. 

dykes behaving badly

HA!! Made you look!

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GLBT

If there was a "hell no" button

14th amendment to the constitution:

"No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws." 

Minnesota is not the 1st State in the Union to attempt to write discrimination into their State Constitution. I am intrigued by this speech by the St. Rep. in the above video. But it would seem that his approach to this topic would be in the minority. (Especially since the MN. House did pass the bill). 

Voters in 28 states have approved constitutional amendments or initiatives that define marriage as "the union of a man and a woman." Has any political figure, or voter, in any of those 28 States read the quote at the beginning of this post from the 14th Amendment to the Constitution of the USA?

The next clip is quite telling about what matters, in the end, when it comes to equality for all people in the USA. LGBT individuals are good enough to fight for our freedoms all over the world, but not good enough to deserve full and equal protection of the laws in America? If only there was a "hell no" button.



religion-and-politics
gay-life
politics
same-sex-relationships

We're Here - We're Queer...

"You know keeping people from saying the word 'gay' is not really going to keep people from being gay. Being Gay isn't like Beetlejuice -- if you say it out loud too many times, you're gay." Jon Stewart

That's just one humorous quote from Stewart's recent segment on The Daily Show covering a measure seeking to prohibit teaching discussion of homosexuality in schools.

same-sex-relationships
gay-life
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GLBT

Why are you gay?

One afternoon I was hanging out at a BBQ with a bunch of friends. Most of them happened to be lesbians. I don't remember how the conversation started, and I don't even remember what I said. What I do remember is at one point of the ladies interjected: "nobody chooses to be gay, you're born that way." I don't think I believed that at that point. The life(style) I was raised within made sexual orientation all about a "choice" and a "lifestyle." So, what else would I have believed about my orientation?

First, some levity on the topic.
See how you do at matching up the terms with the definitions. Pretty funny stuff!  

“In our culture, it used to be that a woman was either gay or she wasn’t. Nowadays we have so many words to describe ourselves; it would take a task force of PhDs in queer vernacular of the day, or a very skilled clairvoyant to decipher them all.”

Match the following concepts with their definitions listed below.

_ born to be a lesbian

_ converted lesbian

_ lesbian by choice

_ bisexual

_ transsexual

_ fluid sexual identity

a) a former heterosexual who finally admitted her disillusionment, dumped her husband & became a lesbian

b) a woman who possesses the yet to be found lesbian gene

c) only her surgeon knows for sure

d) a woman who has experimented with both males & females before deciding on the better sex

e) a free spirit who wants her (beef) cake and Edith, Suzie, Mary and other females too.

Now, secondly... more serious discussion on the topic. 

Why am I gay?

What’s the first answer that comes to your mind?

• I’m being tested by God to see if I’ll remain obedient and faithful.
• I’m being tempted by the enemy who wants to destroy me.
• I was born with a defect in my personality or a genetic flaw.
• Something happened to me in my childhood.
• I gave into sin because I was spiritually weak.
• I was just born gay.
• I’m not really gay. I only fell in love with a woman.

Depending on where you are in the reconciliation process your answer to the question might be different today than it was last week or last month, and different than it might be a year from now. (cont.)

I have thought about that simple proclamation from that friend at that BBQ off and on through the years. Is she right? I don't know.

A blogger friend over at the Unseen Disciple has written a thorough article on this whole ongoing debate over whether one chooses to be gay or is born gay.
Here is an excerpt, but there is much before and after this excerpt worth soaking in.

[...]“It is true that on some level, there is a choice to be gay. But it isn’t a choice about the state of affairs over which we have no control. We cannot deliberate over ends! A state of being is an end, so I cannot choose that state of being. What I can choose is my behavior. So I can choose to be unacceptable but authentic (or ‘congruent with myself’ as my friend has it), which I chose at 40, or I can choose to be acceptable but inauthentic. Ugly choice! But note I don’t choose the authenticity or the acceptability, but the paths or my actions that will promote one set or the other.

...We do make choices. We can’t escape making choices. To quote Sartre, we are condemned to be free—we cannot but choose. And as gays, we are forced to choose between authenticity and acceptability. But that’s speaking loosely. Being more careful with our terms, we are forced to choose between those actions which will promote authenticity and those which will promote acceptability.” [...]

Why are you gay?

same-sex-relationships
gay-life
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GLBT

Gay or Straight: One Leg at a Time

One of my favorite sources for humor highlighted this topic:

“Same-sex couples are virtually identical to opposite-sex couples when it comes to age, income, and child rearing according to census data released in the United States. … Just goes to show you, gay people really aren’t all that different from straight people. Except for our extrasensory abilities and ability to wither your crops by blinking, that is.”

So, if this is the case, then why do so many straight people still spend their energies spreading the angst and animosity? Seriously. Gay or straight, we all put our pants on one leg at a time.

Ways to "convert" gay Christians (not)

Here are some ineffective ways to “convert,” convince, coerce or change gay Christians.

• Quote scripture at them. Using, or misusing passages from the Bible bent to suite your purposes does not work! Many of the same verses are used over and over, without the user fully having studied the context or meaning of the text.
• Question their salvation. Pretty presumptuous for any human to determine for another their spiritual destiny.
• Call them an “abomination.” You mean like eating shellfish, coming to church with glasses on, or playing football without gloves on “abomination”? Another selective (mis)use of scripture (more at this link).
• Use the “sinners aren’t going to heaven” argument against them. What about: “there are NONE righteous” and “ALL have sinned”? (Ro. 3:10 & 23). A Christian is only saved by grace and faith. Name one single person that attacks LGBT individuals who is not a "sinner."
•  Telling them their love is a “counterfeit.” Really? How? And don’t say because “gay couples cannot (naturally) conceive children from their union.”
•  Telling them they are not good (or even “fit”) parents. It is not true, and it will only push them farther away from anyone or anything like the person attacking their parental nature!
• Label them “reprobate” or aberrant. This is definitely not how to “win friends and influence people”! I know those trying to “convert” gays are not trying to “make friends” but seriously, this is not at all an effective influence tool.
• Use shame.
• Lump them in with pedophiles or porn addicts. Baseless and cruel, solely for the purpose of fear mongering.
• Use condemnation.
• Tell them that their “lifestyle” is unacceptable. What is all this about “lifestyle”? What is so different about what “I do” than “you do”? I work, feed my kids, pay my bills, go to church, go to the grocery store, help in my community (more at this link).
• Treat them like “lepers.” It was my first day in Grad school. It was ethics class. There was a very large couple sitting amongst the students. When talking about various individuals one might encounter and have an ethical obligation to, the gay population came up. The couple then said in concert together: “I could never counsel THOSE people!” How sad! Definitely not a “WWJD?” perspective, but unfortunately, all to common amongst Christians and their gut reaction to gay persons.
• Look like you are going to “vomit” when you find out someone you know is gay. After a wedding attended with friends, one was talking about how much she liked one of the bridesmaids. The other looks at her and said: “Duh! She is gay!” And that person, no kidding, looked like she was going to vomit! I knew right then, no matter what, I could never “come out” to them.
• Withdraw relationship/fellowship from a person. You will be “rid” of that “sinner” friend or family member that way, but you will not have moved them to “covert”… only moved them to find a more loving and affirming place to hang out.
• Send them to go to a fundamentalist retreat in order to get them “healed.” Ex-gay “ministries” or the like are simply fruitless.
• Telling them “If God doesn’t judge you people, He will have to apologize to Sodom.” I have heard it said: “People don’t know what the Bible says about homosexuality, they only know what they have been TOLD that the Bible says about it.” Why is it, that of all the things mentioned in the Bible, this is THE one that is at the top of their worst “sin” list? I heard a professor answer a class that was clamoring about “gay marriage” with a question to them. What is the ratio in the Bible of number of times “homosexuality” (or references to it) is mentioned vs. the number of references to how God expects us to treat the poor? Silence, then some guesses. 7 to 1? 10 to 1? No, he answered: “700 to 1. So until we get it right as far as how God expects us to treat the poor, I have no right to condemn gay people.”

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Just say no?

 

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