Questions for heterosexuals

A while back I ran across some very excellent questions crafted by Lindsey at *! [emphatic asterisk].
Seems like a good day to share these again.
These questions turn the tables on heterosexual friends, family, church members who so often expect homosexual individuals to explain their “lifestyle.”
Here are some of her questions: (read the entire post here)

How long have you known you’re heterosexual?

Why do you feel the need to behave in ways that reinforce negative heterosexual stereotypes?

Why do you allow your heterosexuality to affect so much of your life?

Must you really behave (or dress) in a way that flaunts your heterosexuality (or makes it so hard to ignore)?

How did the people in your life react when they realized you are attracted to the opposite sex?

Does the fact you’re a heterosexual make family events awkward?

Does your church know that you’re heterosexual?

Are you ever attracted to the same sex, maybe just a little?

Don’t you ever wonder if you might be mistaken about your sexuality?

Contrary to the evidently popular belief, it is possible to be gay and Christian, or gay and a good sibling, wife, mother, daughter -- or gay-friendly and a good citizen, etc.

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Too Soft for Dobson?

UPDATE: “Focus on the Family” has admitted this week (May 24, 2011) that it is losing the battle on same-sex marriage, particularly among young people. No wonder Dobson said that F.O.T.F. is too soft for him!

As someone who grew up being burnt by adults who espoused Dobson’s fiery rhetoric, I am not at all surprised to hear that evidently he believes his organization “Focus on the Family” had gone too soft for him. I wonder how many real families out there have been hurt more than helped by Dobson through the decades. I personally know of plenty.

“Dobson’s departure from Focus only to start a similar ministry has some outside observers speculating that Dobson was forced out of Focus–and that a bitter Dobson decided to create a competing organization. Dobson, they say, may also feel that Focus’ kinder and gentler approach under CEO and president Jim Daly is not doing the trick, motivating Dobson to start a family nonprofit where fiery rhetoric is the norm.“

Well, whatever the real back story (my gut instinct has never trusted in the impetuous impulsion of Dobson). Here is a little more information on Dobson’s new venture, and then further information on the growing disharmony in the F.O.T.F. camp. From all I have seen, Dobson has ever really been a bridge builder.

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Let go of what you think you know

I have had so much sadness and frustration surrounding how individuals who were once friends, allies or even family, use religion to control, damage or sever relationships. I have posted about these types of situations at various times in the past.
Recently I read something on a blog that (IMHO) gets it right. Something I wish those aforementioned friends or family would be able to really and truly internalize and live.

Quote: So what is it about? Forget the rules. Forget the religion. My faith is grounded in a relationship with a person. A person who’s an example of how to live right. … Someone who knows me – who really knows me – and who chooses to love me anyway. Someone who has the authority – and chooses to use it –  to forgive me my biggest mistakes. Someone who keeps on giving me second chances. Someone who frees me to get up, brush myself down, and try to do better next time.

The person in Jesus.

YES! I would even add “Amen!” Why is it that Christians hide behind “love…” while cracking a bat to the back of your knees with “…but, hate the sin”?
I have often commented “everything after the ‘but’ is true.”
That is exactly how it feels. It is so disingenuous to hear “I love you, oh… but I hate who you are.” Don't hide behind love to spread hate.

Reasons to leave the lifestyle

I did not author the below “reasons” and to say that I don't agree with them would be an understatement. Several of them are just so far out of left field… especially when the writer of the reasons stated their goal was to: “To bring people to a closer relationship to Jesus Christ. To express and encourage others who may be struggling with a particular struggle and to offer a biblical lifestyle alternative to their struggle.”

As an aside, it always strikes me as funny when someone labels same-sex relationships a “lifestyle.” Lifestyle can be defined as “a person's pattern of living as expressed by their interests, motivations, activities, desired experiences, and beliefs.” I know the reason they label it a lifestyle is so that they can assert their belief that one can simply “choose” not to live a certain lifestyle.

Here they are, “Top 10 Reasons to Leave the Lesbian Life Style” as defined by that author.

*(Comments in red are mine.)

10. In order to get rid of your Reprobate mind. (Reprobate? “not of standard purity or fineness; disallowed; rejected”… who decides what rejects a person and their mind in this manner? Aren’t there a whole list of things that “straight” humans can engage in to be “reprobate”?)

9. No more feeling like everyone is watching you and staring at you (because they are.) (Well now, there are many people who are just that self-conscious… and I highly doubt it has to do anything with their sexual orientation!)

8. No more worring [sic] if you look gay (because you did.) (A show of hands please, anyone who is gay or lesbian out there… is this really a worry for you? And if you did “graduate” from “exodus intl.” would that change how you look?)

7. No more trying to please God and your lover (you can now just please God.) (My mom is a heterosexual… and she could never please God and her spouse. When she came home from church, my father regularly accused her of loving God more than him. This is not a sexual orientation issue, it is a poor quality spouse issue.)

6. No more feeling like your [sic] never good enough (becuase [sic] you were not.) (Many people who reveal that they don’t feel like they are “good enough” do not give sexual orientation as their reasoning.)

5. No more feeling jealous everytime [sic] your lover didn’t phone or call. (This one also is no respecter of sexual orientation! If this exists in a relationship, it is unfortunate, but it is another of these reasons that is not inherent to same-sex relationships!)

4. No more fighting with your abusive lover. (There are as many, or more, opposite sex couples that this would be descriptive of--so it is not simply a "benefit" of casting off a same-sex relationship.)

3. No more feeling like you can’t live with out that person (because you can.) (Pardon me? See any of my above comments as to why this also is not inherent to same-sex relationships.)

2. No more feeling guilty about going to church. (Because now you can go and be guilt free.) …(what?)

1. Heaven it’s a wonderful place. (Now you can feel good about going there.) (For anyone out there who is gay and Christian… do you have a thought on these last two? Sounds like “works salvation” to me.)

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