What everyone should know about the Gay Agenda

 

I guess there really is a lot to consider... and "fear"...

 

religion-and-politics

gay-life
politics
 

One Thing Straight

Let's get one thing straight here... if you can read the below and still justify your bias against gay relationships? Well, then I guess the moon is also made of green cheese. (Yes, of course that is a non sequitur... oh well!).

 

GLBT

same sex marriage

same-sex-relationships

lgbt

religion-and-politics

PS- there is no gay agenda!  

Jesus loves outlaws

Jesus was an outlaw, Jesus loves outlaws. And Jesus even loves these folks too.

I know they say that ignorance is bliss, but seriously, why be ignorant?

GLBT

same sex marriage

same-sex-relationships

lgbt

religion-and-politics

PS- there is no gay agenda! 

The 1st President to support...

...same-sex marriage in American history is our current President, Obama. USA Today is calling it a "political gamble," but the White House spokesman was quick to clarify that it was President Obama's personal opinion, and that he still believes the marriage equality issue should still ultimately be up to each individual State's decision.

Bridge's readers know why I am not "for" gay marriage anymore... and that is basically because no matter what each State decides, without DOMA being repealed, in the end it nets the LGBT community very little as far as Federally recognized relationship rights and protections.

GLBT

same sex marriage

same-sex-relationships

lgbt

Marriage & Relationship Recognition

 

ignorance is bliss

... or at least it is for the unaware, unconscious, uncouth and unenlightened.
Yesterday at work a group of employees in another department started holding forth at a volume hard to ignore. Their topic for the day was unbelievably uneducated opinions about religion and the rapture. I just sat there shaking my head. For two reasons. One, generally talking about religion in the secular workplace is a no-no. Two, I have never heard such wacky opinions about "the rapture." Understandably this was a popular topic after that guy mispronounced the "rapture and end of the world" last Saturday (of course, now that it did not come true, he has changed is date). But, I had to let it go because, unlike the kids in that department, the adults in my department had work to do and interventions to make.
Then today at work the same employees in that other department started loudly expressing their misinformed and misguided opinions about gay people as "fact." Some of the low-lights included: "people are gay as a result of their environment," and "I know there are a lot of kids that need homes but gays shouldn't adopt." My ire was a rising... especially compounded after yesterday. I could not believe that such ignorance is still so pervasive... especially among the under 30 crowd. (This group has also offered their toxic teachings on political party issues and abortion -- doesn't seem to just be an isolated incident or two).
Again, I had too much work to perform to attempt an intervention with those half dozen people in an attempt to enlighten and edify them. I did, however, let the management know that a group of employees were creating a "hostile work environment" with their bullhorn level discussions on loaded topics. We'll have to see what happens. 

To quote a line from one of my favorite movies: "morons, your bus is leaving!" Follow the arrow to escort the ignorance out of the building. 


religion-and-politics
gay-life
politics
same-sex-relationships

Meaning behind my blog name

One of my blog buddies posted on this topic and it got me thinking about how and why I started this blog. Let me see here. It was the Fall of 2006...

One of my 3 jobs at the time was working for a non-profit (Christian) counseling center. I liked working there because it brought in a wide variety of clientele consisting of individuals who needed help, but were not finding objective professional help in the church environment. I had been working there about 6 months when the director called me into his office. Not unusual. But this time he had that foreboding look on his face. He stated that they had gotten an "anonymous tip" via email (how can an email be anonymous?). Bottom line? The email sender stated they were going to withdraw their financial support of that counseling center while they were "harboring a lesbian" (rolling my eyes). My boss then gave me the DADT line (you know, "you don't have to say anything"). But how could I keep working there and hiding who I was? So I did "tell"... and was released from my job. I couldn't believe it. This was a professional place of business who employed credentialed professionals to administer mental health services (this was not a church). And this company was actually in a city that had a well known non-discrimination ordinance. The catch? It was a non-profit company and therefore not held accountable by the law.

Sure, I still had 2 other jobs. But the experience was surprisingly disappointing. My partner noted that I should "write about it." I didn't really have a venue to write about it... until my son suggested starting a blog. Perfect. An "anonymous" outlet on the Internet to write about my experiences and feelings. Would anyone read it? Who knew. Who cared! I had a place to vent. And I did, even citing the city ordinance and discussing how ridiculous it is that the "separation of church and state" thing gives non-profit companies the right to ignore the laws of the land.

The name of my original blog at blogger? "Burning or Building Bridges in the Community." That name came directly from the motto of the company above that fired me solely due to my sexual orientation, which was "building bridges in the community." They were not building bridges in the community.

My blog was actually at blogger for about a year and a half, at which time I discovered that my blog had been unexpectedly “locked” and was viewable only by me (if I logged in). I looked into this in blogger’s help groups, and apparently, there were many other blogger authors in this limbo presently as well! Evidently, at the beginning of 2008 blogger began a crack down. (e.g.: flagging what they thought were “spam blogs”). The problem with their “crack down” is the sheer volume of blogs for blogger to scan left lots of room for error. In December ’08 I received the following from Blogger: “Since you’re an actual person reading this, your blog is probably not a spam blog. Automated spam detection is inherently fuzzy, and we sincerely apologize for this false positive.” Without remedy I just decided to move my blog.

I was very happy with my new blog home at WordPress from April 2008 until about January of 2010. Around that time, some trolls who "knew" me through knowing my partner, infested my blog. I discovered that my "anonymous" blog space to share and vent and write was no longer a safe space. I still wanted to be able to blog from time-to-time, and hoped that the trolls would have actually have moved on with their own sordid lives and were not still  hunting around the Internet to see what I may be writing about. (It's not like there is a First Amendment to the Constitution of America or anything that would protect my ability to freely write whatever I choose to about my life).   I then chose to make the WordPress blog "private." Those who had access could still read it, but it was necessary to close the windows to the unwelcome.

So here I am back at Blogger. My blog name changed slightly with this move to "Bridge Travels on the Journey." The original reason behind the name of my blog no longer really applied to the content, and since my Bridges blog itself had so many travels and I still wanted to share some portions of my journey -- I opted for the name modification. 


That's pretty much the story right there.  Thank you to you kind and genuine souls who are still walking the bridge with me all these years later.

Reasons to leave the lifestyle

I did not author the below “reasons” and to say that I don't agree with them would be an understatement. Several of them are just so far out of left field… especially when the writer of the reasons stated their goal was to: “To bring people to a closer relationship to Jesus Christ. To express and encourage others who may be struggling with a particular struggle and to offer a biblical lifestyle alternative to their struggle.”

As an aside, it always strikes me as funny when someone labels same-sex relationships a “lifestyle.” Lifestyle can be defined as “a person's pattern of living as expressed by their interests, motivations, activities, desired experiences, and beliefs.” I know the reason they label it a lifestyle is so that they can assert their belief that one can simply “choose” not to live a certain lifestyle.

Here they are, “Top 10 Reasons to Leave the Lesbian Life Style” as defined by that author.

*(Comments in red are mine.)

10. In order to get rid of your Reprobate mind. (Reprobate? “not of standard purity or fineness; disallowed; rejected”… who decides what rejects a person and their mind in this manner? Aren’t there a whole list of things that “straight” humans can engage in to be “reprobate”?)

9. No more feeling like everyone is watching you and staring at you (because they are.) (Well now, there are many people who are just that self-conscious… and I highly doubt it has to do anything with their sexual orientation!)

8. No more worring [sic] if you look gay (because you did.) (A show of hands please, anyone who is gay or lesbian out there… is this really a worry for you? And if you did “graduate” from “exodus intl.” would that change how you look?)

7. No more trying to please God and your lover (you can now just please God.) (My mom is a heterosexual… and she could never please God and her spouse. When she came home from church, my father regularly accused her of loving God more than him. This is not a sexual orientation issue, it is a poor quality spouse issue.)

6. No more feeling like your [sic] never good enough (becuase [sic] you were not.) (Many people who reveal that they don’t feel like they are “good enough” do not give sexual orientation as their reasoning.)

5. No more feeling jealous everytime [sic] your lover didn’t phone or call. (This one also is no respecter of sexual orientation! If this exists in a relationship, it is unfortunate, but it is another of these reasons that is not inherent to same-sex relationships!)

4. No more fighting with your abusive lover. (There are as many, or more, opposite sex couples that this would be descriptive of--so it is not simply a "benefit" of casting off a same-sex relationship.)

3. No more feeling like you can’t live with out that person (because you can.) (Pardon me? See any of my above comments as to why this also is not inherent to same-sex relationships.)

2. No more feeling guilty about going to church. (Because now you can go and be guilt free.) …(what?)

1. Heaven it’s a wonderful place. (Now you can feel good about going there.) (For anyone out there who is gay and Christian… do you have a thought on these last two? Sounds like “works salvation” to me.)

gay-life

lesbian-life

glbtq-christians

Ways to "convert" gay Christians (not)

Here are some ineffective ways to “convert,” convince, coerce or change gay Christians.

• Quote scripture at them. Using, or misusing passages from the Bible bent to suite your purposes does not work! Many of the same verses are used over and over, without the user fully having studied the context or meaning of the text.
• Question their salvation. Pretty presumptuous for any human to determine for another their spiritual destiny.
• Call them an “abomination.” You mean like eating shellfish, coming to church with glasses on, or playing football without gloves on “abomination”? Another selective (mis)use of scripture (more at this link).
• Use the “sinners aren’t going to heaven” argument against them. What about: “there are NONE righteous” and “ALL have sinned”? (Ro. 3:10 & 23). A Christian is only saved by grace and faith. Name one single person that attacks LGBT individuals who is not a "sinner."
•  Telling them their love is a “counterfeit.” Really? How? And don’t say because “gay couples cannot (naturally) conceive children from their union.”
•  Telling them they are not good (or even “fit”) parents. It is not true, and it will only push them farther away from anyone or anything like the person attacking their parental nature!
• Label them “reprobate” or aberrant. This is definitely not how to “win friends and influence people”! I know those trying to “convert” gays are not trying to “make friends” but seriously, this is not at all an effective influence tool.
• Use shame.
• Lump them in with pedophiles or porn addicts. Baseless and cruel, solely for the purpose of fear mongering.
• Use condemnation.
• Tell them that their “lifestyle” is unacceptable. What is all this about “lifestyle”? What is so different about what “I do” than “you do”? I work, feed my kids, pay my bills, go to church, go to the grocery store, help in my community (more at this link).
• Treat them like “lepers.” It was my first day in Grad school. It was ethics class. There was a very large couple sitting amongst the students. When talking about various individuals one might encounter and have an ethical obligation to, the gay population came up. The couple then said in concert together: “I could never counsel THOSE people!” How sad! Definitely not a “WWJD?” perspective, but unfortunately, all to common amongst Christians and their gut reaction to gay persons.
• Look like you are going to “vomit” when you find out someone you know is gay. After a wedding attended with friends, one was talking about how much she liked one of the bridesmaids. The other looks at her and said: “Duh! She is gay!” And that person, no kidding, looked like she was going to vomit! I knew right then, no matter what, I could never “come out” to them.
• Withdraw relationship/fellowship from a person. You will be “rid” of that “sinner” friend or family member that way, but you will not have moved them to “covert”… only moved them to find a more loving and affirming place to hang out.
• Send them to go to a fundamentalist retreat in order to get them “healed.” Ex-gay “ministries” or the like are simply fruitless.
• Telling them “If God doesn’t judge you people, He will have to apologize to Sodom.” I have heard it said: “People don’t know what the Bible says about homosexuality, they only know what they have been TOLD that the Bible says about it.” Why is it, that of all the things mentioned in the Bible, this is THE one that is at the top of their worst “sin” list? I heard a professor answer a class that was clamoring about “gay marriage” with a question to them. What is the ratio in the Bible of number of times “homosexuality” (or references to it) is mentioned vs. the number of references to how God expects us to treat the poor? Silence, then some guesses. 7 to 1? 10 to 1? No, he answered: “700 to 1. So until we get it right as far as how God expects us to treat the poor, I have no right to condemn gay people.”

gay-christians

glbtq-christians

Just say no?

 

same-sex-relationships

lgbt

Are straight parents better for kids than gay parents?

That is a FAQ for sure. But what is the answer? Is there any credible evidence to support that kids are better off if they are raised by straight parents than by gay parents? I read one article that listed several reasons why being raised by straight parents was in the "best interest" of kids. I'll share that list here below, and then some research and resources that would disagree with those assertions.

Now, how does defining marriage between one man and one woman protect children's rights and best interests? In summary,

1- Heterosexual marriage provides that a child will know and be raised by his own parents.
2- Research demonstrates conclusively that heterosexual marriage serves children's best interests.
3- Heterosexual marriage provides the child with a natural network of care and support from his immediate and extended biological family
4- Heterosexual marriage sets the foundation for the child to have the same biological, legal and care giving parents.
5- Heterosexual marriage greatly reduces the risk that children or their constituent parts will become commodities.
6- Heterosexual marriage provides children with a multi-generational sense of identity.
7- Children born from heterosexual parents have access to their own genetic heritage for medical purposes.
8- Constitutionally defining marriage between one man and one woman strengthens the judicial protection accorded to children
9-Allowing court ordered same-sex marriage to prevail creates precedent for further erosion of children's rights.
10- Heterosexual marriage protects the filiative rights of all children.
11- Defining heterosexual marriage is an absolutely essential first step in protecting children's rights and best interests.
12- Defining heterosexual marriage is insufficient to ensure adequate protection for children's rights and best interests.
13- Heterosexual marriage provides a simple and understandable set of norms.
14- Heterosexual marriage naturally protects children from potential discrimination because of the sex of their parents.

What does the ACLU have to say about this? 

"Research to date has reached an unequivocal conclusion about gay parenting: the children of lesbian and gay parents grow up as successfully as the children of heterosexual parents. In fact, not a single study has found the children of lesbian or gay parents to be disadvantaged because of their parents’ sexual orientation."

How about the APA?

Like families headed by heterosexual parents, lesbian and gay parents and their children are a diverse group. Unlike heterosexual parents and their children, however, lesbian and gay parents and their children are often subject to prejudice because of their sexual orientation that can turn judges, legislators, professionals, and the public against them, sometimes resulting in negative outcomes, such as loss of physical custody, restrictions on visitation, and prohibitions against adoption. Negative attitudes about lesbian and gay parenting may be held in the population at large  as well as by psychologists. As with beliefs about other socially stigmatized groups, the beliefs held generally in society about lesbians and gay men are often not based in personal experience, but are frequently culturally transmitted. The purpose of this summary of research findings on lesbian and gay parents and their children is to evaluate widespread beliefs in the light of empirical data and in this way ameliorate negative effects of unwarranted prejudice. (more at link)

Are there any outright benefits of being raised by gay parents?

Benefits. Contradicting the negative assumptions regarding lesbian parenting, a number of benefits have been documented. Four benefits accrue for children of lesbian parents (Allen 1997). First, children of homosexual parents learn respect, empathy, and acceptance of diversity. Second, some authors have argued that children of lesbian parents are also more assertive in confronting traditional sex roles and in establishing egalitarian intimate relationships. Third, children raised by homosexual parents may also learn to negotiate and maintain a healthy family in the face of legal restrictions (Savin-Williams and Esterberg 2000), understanding that families are not necessarily confined to biological events, but can be created by choice. Fourth, children in lesbian families may gain appreciation for the strengths and social support available in the gay and lesbian community (Allen 1997).
In sum, children of lesbian parents do not experience any apparent developmental disadvantage when compared to children of heterosexual parents. Overall, the quality of the child-parent relationship, not the mother's sexual orientation, is important to healthy child development. 

It is valuable to look past assertion to actual data and reality. 

Stacey, J., & Biblarz, T. J. (2001). (How) Does sexual orientation of parents matter? American Sociological Review, 65, 159-183.
Opponents of lesbian and gay parental rights claim that children with lesbigay parents are at higher risk for a variety of negative outcomes. Yet most research in psychology concludes that there are no differences in developmental outcomes between children raised by lesbigay parents and those raised by heterosexual parents.