Less like scars...

What the devil is Turkish Delight? Well, many may already know that it is is a confection made from starch and sugar. It is often flavored with rosewater or lemon. OK beyond the kitchen. What is the deal with Turkish Delight?

The below will illustrate further the context to which I am referring, and the place from which I am posting:

Turkish Delight ends up being the addictive confection to which Edmund Pevensie succumbs in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C. S. Lewis.

Where do I begin with my thoughts on this?

Edmund Pevensie, while in Narnia he meets the White Witch, who plies him with treats (Turkish Delight) and smooth talk. Tempted by the White Witch’s promise of power and seemingly unending supplies of Turkish Delight, Edmund betrays his siblings, but eventually regrets his actions.

That is a pretty good place to start with where my thoughts are.

When I was young and did not wear nearly as many scars as I do now, I remember hearing that story for the first time and thinking “I cannot believe that Edmund totally betrayed his loved ones– all for some silly candy — Turkish Delight!”  Well, as with most everything else in my life, I should know better than to ascribe judgment to anyone or anything unless I have walked in that person’s shoes or experienced those circumstances.

Why is it that humans can be so easily led astray by things that look good, that taste good — that promise to fulfill us or fill our hungers? Why is it that we could so easily forget that there are others out there that love us and are counting on us — as we look away from them and look deeply into the eyes of what is in front of us wooing? I don’t know the answers to those questions. But I now know how easy all of those mistakes are to make — now that I am older and possess many more scars.

Does anyone else remember the part of the story with Edmund and the “White Witch”? His siblings tried to warn him. I think Edmund even called her another name other than “White Witch” — like a "queen." It didn’t seem like it was all that long before the sweet tones, open arms, warm blankets and fresh “Turkish Delight” offered by the Queen of the North (or White Witch) were all taken swiftly away from Edmund. Taken… just at the very moment that he wanted it so very badly! And not only that, but as I remember it — the delicious confections he had eaten eventually turned sour in his stomach and he felt very ill.

In the beginning, the confections of this world offered by those who seem lovely beckon so sweetly. “Come! Taste me! You will love me! You have never had anything like me!” And then, just as we get comfortable and accustomed to the receiving of such wooing and satisfaction? That is the very moment it is snatched from out of our hands. That is the very moment (metaphorically speaking) that the “Queen” becomes the “Witch.” And that is the very moment that whatever it was that we were taking into ourselves begins to turn sour within us and sicken us.

Not only that, as if that was not enough of a sad end to such a misadventure, but others that truly love us end up being hurt as well. It is not enough that we are humiliated because we fell for the oldest ruse in history — but also that people we love (and would never intentionally hurt) end up being hurt very much.

Poor Edmund goes through quite a time after this. Aslan does appear in order to rescue Edmund… but at a price. Those who are familiar with the story know the price exacted in this instance to redeem Edmund.

In the present day real-world realm, there is often a price to be paid for being led away from the ones we love as well. Why are these painful lessons so many times learned the hard way? I do not know the answer to that question. But I am grateful for redemption and grace, and I am grateful as time passes that the wounds look less like scars and more like character. 

Chronicles of Narnia,Turkish Delight, C.S. Lewis,White Witch,Edmund,Narnia

Everyone has skeletons in the closet

There seems to be a formula in life that looks something like this: “the louder a person decries the behavior of another, the greater the chances are that there are skeletons in their closet.”
When a person uses their energies to demagogue the immorality and inferiority of other people’s lives, it seems that it will eventually be inevitable that their own cracks in their armor will be glaringly brought to light.
We all have cracks in our armor. We all have skeletons in our closets. And yet, most of us at one point or another have probably felt compelled to shine the spotlight on someone else’s dark corner of the room. There is a reason someone said “people in glass houses shouldn’t  throw stones.” I am dismayed to say that in the past I have flipped on the proverbial flood light, or picked up stones during my life. Those are never our finest moments, so why do we all do it? There could be many reasons. But one could be that it is much easier to tear another down than to do the work to elevate our own thoughts and behaviors.

We are all so fragile in many ways. We are all riding the waves of our own cognitive dissonance--trying to maintain balance and not be enveloped by the pull of the undertow.
I just found a quote that ties in perfectly with this post, and I am thankful that I ran across it at my friend's blog.

"Remember that the first step is not to speak ill of others. All human beings have weaknesses and faults. They have their imperfections. Therefore, before trying to find faults in others and speaking ill of them, try to find your own weaknesses and correct those." 

one little gay anomaly

I have often wondered about something. Why do “good, conservative heterosexual” males seem to have only one exception to the “gay abomination” deal? Is this their one little gay anomaly?
I remember thinking how ridiculous “straight porn” was when a major component was two straight women spanking each other. Seriously? Who decided that was going to be the ticket?
So... in this American conservative society you have to be straight and married to someone of the opposite sex to be “acceptable” (normal). But if your boyfriend/husband wants to see you do it with another woman–there is your gay (bisexual, bi-curious) “get out of jail free” card? Hmm...

same-sex-relationships
gay-life

Too Soft for Dobson?

UPDATE: “Focus on the Family” has admitted this week (May 24, 2011) that it is losing the battle on same-sex marriage, particularly among young people. No wonder Dobson said that F.O.T.F. is too soft for him!

As someone who grew up being burnt by adults who espoused Dobson’s fiery rhetoric, I am not at all surprised to hear that evidently he believes his organization “Focus on the Family” had gone too soft for him. I wonder how many real families out there have been hurt more than helped by Dobson through the decades. I personally know of plenty.

“Dobson’s departure from Focus only to start a similar ministry has some outside observers speculating that Dobson was forced out of Focus–and that a bitter Dobson decided to create a competing organization. Dobson, they say, may also feel that Focus’ kinder and gentler approach under CEO and president Jim Daly is not doing the trick, motivating Dobson to start a family nonprofit where fiery rhetoric is the norm.“

Well, whatever the real back story (my gut instinct has never trusted in the impetuous impulsion of Dobson). Here is a little more information on Dobson’s new venture, and then further information on the growing disharmony in the F.O.T.F. camp. From all I have seen, Dobson has ever really been a bridge builder.

religion-and-politics
gay-life
politics

Let go of what you think you know

I have had so much sadness and frustration surrounding how individuals who were once friends, allies or even family, use religion to control, damage or sever relationships. I have posted about these types of situations at various times in the past.
Recently I read something on a blog that (IMHO) gets it right. Something I wish those aforementioned friends or family would be able to really and truly internalize and live.

Quote: So what is it about? Forget the rules. Forget the religion. My faith is grounded in a relationship with a person. A person who’s an example of how to live right. … Someone who knows me – who really knows me – and who chooses to love me anyway. Someone who has the authority – and chooses to use it –  to forgive me my biggest mistakes. Someone who keeps on giving me second chances. Someone who frees me to get up, brush myself down, and try to do better next time.

The person in Jesus.

YES! I would even add “Amen!” Why is it that Christians hide behind “love…” while cracking a bat to the back of your knees with “…but, hate the sin”?
I have often commented “everything after the ‘but’ is true.”
That is exactly how it feels. It is so disingenuous to hear “I love you, oh… but I hate who you are.” Don't hide behind love to spread hate.

Beware the Gay Agenda!

I have often wondered exactly what is the gay agenda. Here is an interesting little ditty I found today... I'll let you check out the site that I found this quote on in order to determine if it is genuine --- or if it is tongue in cheek. Either way, pretty funny!

"As every Christian knows, there is only one enemy that threatens our entire civilization. And I am, of course, not talking about Satan. I'm talking about those damned homosexuals! Yes, they give otherwise dull hair radiant highlights and our imperfect décor those fabulous flourishes that elude our more predictable heterosexual sensibilities, but at what price? In exchange for a little panache, we allow homosexuals to steal our children and destroy our Christian marriages. And how do they do this? With their secret masterplan -- The Homosexual Agenda!"

What will your gay agenda be today? Share it below...
if ... you ... dare!

same-sex-relationships
gay-life
lgbt

Gay or Straight: One Leg at a Time

One of my favorite sources for humor highlighted this topic:

“Same-sex couples are virtually identical to opposite-sex couples when it comes to age, income, and child rearing according to census data released in the United States. … Just goes to show you, gay people really aren’t all that different from straight people. Except for our extrasensory abilities and ability to wither your crops by blinking, that is.”

So, if this is the case, then why do so many straight people still spend their energies spreading the angst and animosity? Seriously. Gay or straight, we all put our pants on one leg at a time.

Moral Math

In a Country where  
1 man + 1 woman 
= moral superiority...

is anyone else intrigued by the popularity of the TLC Show "Sister Wives"?

There is more to say on this topic as it relates to the vitriolic fight in our Country to protect the "sanctity of marriage." But for now, real life and work calls.

Marriage & Relationship Recognition

Second-class citizens

 

same-sex-relationships

lgbt

Splitting Heirs

What happens when life takes a toll on love and wedded bliss becomes tears and distance and loss and pain? What a justice of the peace may have joined together, a judge of the court may have to divide asunder.
I dare say that no two people who pledge their love and watch their love create life ever believe that their love will end one day–––and that  the life that was brought forth from two will ever need to be divided between two (or more). And yet that is what happens. The, young people, the ones who had nothing to do with the start of the love, or with the demise of the love often find themselves smack dab in the middle and torn.

Reminds me of an ancient tale. The story is told that people from surrounding nations came to hear King Solomon’s wisdom. He composed 3,000 proverbs and 1,005 songs. Although Solomon was a young king, he soon became known for his wisdom. The first and most famous incident of his discernment as a judge was when two women came to his court with a baby whom both women claimed as their own. Solomon threatened to split the baby in half. One woman was prepared to accept the decision, but the other begged the King to give the live baby to the other woman. She would rather have someone else raise her child than see her child be divided. The wise Solomon then knew the second woman was the real mother. Where are wise judges like this in our modern times?

Another very wise man once said, "no matter how amicable any dissolution may start out, they all eventually turn ugly… therefore… get everything in writing." So, I suppose splitting hairs may be wise on some level… but splitting heirs…? 

“Growing up is loosing some illusions, in order to acquire others.”
- Virginia Woolf

Even though I am an adult, day by day I am finding that I am still having to let go of illusions of what I thought my life and family would be. Heirs have been split...

The Last Word

Have you ever found yourself frustrated or aggravated because a person (or people) have sought you out to harass and besiege? I imagine I am not alone in feeling this. So often energy is spent on wondering "why" such people can't find anything better to do? Wondering "why" people have to bully others? It occurred to me the other day... I know the reason why. And what's more, I was warned.

"Your enemy roams around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour."

It is fairly amazing that I forgot that warning for as long as I had during the last several years. So, in essence, it is no big surprise that our enemies restlessly pace back and forth trolling for someone to devour. Now for the encouragement. The trolls in our lives do not get the last word!

"Keep a cool head. Stay alert. The adversary is poised to pounce, and would like nothing better than to catch you napping. Keep your guard up. You're not the only ones plunged into these hard times. It's the same with Christians all over the world. So keep a firm grip on the faith. The suffering won't last forever. It won't be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ—eternal and glorious plans they are—will have you put together and on your feet for good. He gets the last word; yes, He does."

trolls

behavior

musings

Time for recess and a nap?

I saw these artistic frames during my blog travels. These two frames seemed important to highlight right now because of all the stress and distress that has continued to be present in my world during 2010.
Working so hard to be the adult in the whole mess — to be the one to maintain healthy boundaries — to be the stable presence. And yet feeling so very exhausted by all the many onslaughts of thoughtless boundary breaking and stability threatening events. And wondering “why?” Why am I so exhausted and just plain exasperated? Probably because my inner child is screaming from within me — just hoping for a recess and a nap!
But alas, in the adult world, that doesn't happen. So, back to work!

Breaking the Code

In my 4 decades on this plant I have learned many things. One of the things I have learned is that when someone signs a letter with some variation of “Regards” what they are really trying to convey before they end their letter is: “f*ck off and f*ck you.”

Sad, but true… at least the majority of the time. Why do people hide behind benign words to thinly veil their malignant intents? Mostly because they know that the raft of sh*t their true words would reap them is not a hassle they want to deal with (or are brave enough to deal with).

What is worse than that is when people use their kind or sweet words to get what they want out of people — and then when either they do not get that they wanted — or are just “done”... you can be sure those sweet words take a hairpin curve and turn sour!

I didn’t understand it when I was a kid and heard the lessons about the tongue being the smallest member of the body but being capable of the greatest damage. I do now.

Whoever first said “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” was one of two things: deaf, or as yet unscathed by the double-edged sword of another’s words. Either way the physical wounds of sticks and stones heal long before the emotional wounds of misused words.

It would be nice if we lived in a world where people accepted self-responsibility and personal accountability for what the words that they put out there do to other people.

HA! I suppose I may as well be wishing for world peace, or a clean energy source apart from the fossil fuels that contaminated our Oceans in the Gulf during the summer of 2010.