What everyone should know about the Gay Agenda

 

I guess there really is a lot to consider... and "fear"...

 

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Does "PRIDE" hurt the LGBT cause?

It's that time of year again! In many cities all over the country today is PRIDE day!

And the question above is one that a couple gay male friends and I were discussing recently. The discussion went something like this.

We spend every other day of the year trying to "be taken seriously" -- trying to show the straight community that we don't have a "lifestyle" rather we have a "normal life." We go to work, take care of our families, pay our taxes, etc... "Normal."

But then for one weekend a year we as an LGBT community bring out our freak flag and fly it on main street America -- in a full blown live and in color parade fashion no less!

Are PRIDE parades and festivals a bad thing? Of course not! I have been to, and enjoyed, several!

And my favorite thing about PRIDE weekend has always been being able to wander around holding hands with my lover without people throwing things at me. And yet, at the risk of getting things "thrown at me" here -- I have to admit that I have "cringed" at some aspects of the PRIDE parades I have seen. Why??? Only because I knew that the straight community also sees them and will use the "freak flag flying moments" as ammunition to discriminate against the gay community the rest of the year (and especially in an election year).

Back to the question. Does "PRIDE" hurt the LGBT cause? I don't know. But, be that as it may, my LGBT friends, enjoy your PRIDE weekend! And always let your freak flag fly!

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If there was a "hell no" button

14th amendment to the constitution:

"No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws." 

Minnesota is not the 1st State in the Union to attempt to write discrimination into their State Constitution. I am intrigued by this speech by the St. Rep. in the above video. But it would seem that his approach to this topic would be in the minority. (Especially since the MN. House did pass the bill). 

Voters in 28 states have approved constitutional amendments or initiatives that define marriage as "the union of a man and a woman." Has any political figure, or voter, in any of those 28 States read the quote at the beginning of this post from the 14th Amendment to the Constitution of the USA?

The next clip is quite telling about what matters, in the end, when it comes to equality for all people in the USA. LGBT individuals are good enough to fight for our freedoms all over the world, but not good enough to deserve full and equal protection of the laws in America? If only there was a "hell no" button.



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same-sex-relationships

Why are you gay?

One afternoon I was hanging out at a BBQ with a bunch of friends. Most of them happened to be lesbians. I don't remember how the conversation started, and I don't even remember what I said. What I do remember is at one point of the ladies interjected: "nobody chooses to be gay, you're born that way." I don't think I believed that at that point. The life(style) I was raised within made sexual orientation all about a "choice" and a "lifestyle." So, what else would I have believed about my orientation?

First, some levity on the topic.
See how you do at matching up the terms with the definitions. Pretty funny stuff!  

“In our culture, it used to be that a woman was either gay or she wasn’t. Nowadays we have so many words to describe ourselves; it would take a task force of PhDs in queer vernacular of the day, or a very skilled clairvoyant to decipher them all.”

Match the following concepts with their definitions listed below.

_ born to be a lesbian

_ converted lesbian

_ lesbian by choice

_ bisexual

_ transsexual

_ fluid sexual identity

a) a former heterosexual who finally admitted her disillusionment, dumped her husband & became a lesbian

b) a woman who possesses the yet to be found lesbian gene

c) only her surgeon knows for sure

d) a woman who has experimented with both males & females before deciding on the better sex

e) a free spirit who wants her (beef) cake and Edith, Suzie, Mary and other females too.

Now, secondly... more serious discussion on the topic. 

Why am I gay?

What’s the first answer that comes to your mind?

• I’m being tested by God to see if I’ll remain obedient and faithful.
• I’m being tempted by the enemy who wants to destroy me.
• I was born with a defect in my personality or a genetic flaw.
• Something happened to me in my childhood.
• I gave into sin because I was spiritually weak.
• I was just born gay.
• I’m not really gay. I only fell in love with a woman.

Depending on where you are in the reconciliation process your answer to the question might be different today than it was last week or last month, and different than it might be a year from now. (cont.)

I have thought about that simple proclamation from that friend at that BBQ off and on through the years. Is she right? I don't know.

A blogger friend over at the Unseen Disciple has written a thorough article on this whole ongoing debate over whether one chooses to be gay or is born gay.
Here is an excerpt, but there is much before and after this excerpt worth soaking in.

[...]“It is true that on some level, there is a choice to be gay. But it isn’t a choice about the state of affairs over which we have no control. We cannot deliberate over ends! A state of being is an end, so I cannot choose that state of being. What I can choose is my behavior. So I can choose to be unacceptable but authentic (or ‘congruent with myself’ as my friend has it), which I chose at 40, or I can choose to be acceptable but inauthentic. Ugly choice! But note I don’t choose the authenticity or the acceptability, but the paths or my actions that will promote one set or the other.

...We do make choices. We can’t escape making choices. To quote Sartre, we are condemned to be free—we cannot but choose. And as gays, we are forced to choose between authenticity and acceptability. But that’s speaking loosely. Being more careful with our terms, we are forced to choose between those actions which will promote authenticity and those which will promote acceptability.” [...]

Why are you gay?

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Intersections

Many relationships come to a point of intersection. What happens at that point depends on many factors. One would think that as with any other intersection, all parties may want to stop and look both ways before barreling through and causing an accident. This doesn't often happen though.

At the intersection between the ending of my previous relationship and the beginning of the one I've been in for quite some time now, I thought: do I stay where things were clearly had not been moving for quite some time, or do I journey on to where I believed my heart could find a place to love and grow?

The hardest parts about being at that intersection surrounded a spouse who didn’t seem to give two hoots before — but after I sought to follow a love that promised to "give a hoot"? That is when the battle began to rage.
Was the battle one of a husband who had finally "seen the light" and was willing to do the hard things to recreate a marriage full of love, growth and autonomy? No. The battle that was waged was one of “if you don’t do what I tell you —  I will take your children from you.” This type of intersection is not solely my own. I have read this story so many times since I barely survived on so many levels as a result of the wars with my ex-husband.  

Here’s a good rule of thumb… if the person didn’t care enough while they were married to a woman to love her and make the marriage a loving and safe haven while they were lucky enough to have that woman in their life? Then chances are they aren't interested in anything other than saving pride and inflicting wounds. And the worst possible way they could seek to wound women once the relationship is over? *Attack them as mothers. *Threaten to take their children — or just as insidious? *Alienate affections of the children from their mother. 

Relationships end. That is part of life. But does it have to be a time of prolonged stealing, crashing and wounding? Or could it just be an intersection of life where two people move on — safely in differing directions. 

In a perfect world people would be able to peacefully meet back at a more healthy intersection to share the children — not divide or tear them apart. 

“I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. This is why right - temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant.” (Martin Luther King, Jr.)

Just a couple more thoughts penned by a friend:

Remember that the actions and beliefs of another person will never change your love for your children or for those around you who are true and good.
Their actions and beliefs are powerless, and will:
Never destroy your love
Never shatter your hope
Never corrode you faith
Never kill your friendship
Never suppress your memories
Never silence your courage
Never invade the soul
and can Never steal eternal life
Nor can they ever conquer your spirit.
Their actions and beliefs will however, continue to corrode their judgments and minds. 

Surprise!

Do you love surprises? I used to.
Now, there are very few that I would actually welcome. There is one whammy that I absolutely do not welcome.

Why can't people spend their energy focusing on their own lives, rather than trolling around other people's lives -- seeking what else they can take from another person.
Seriously. ☑ Grow up. ☑ Move on. ☑ Go away.

Beware the Gay Agenda!

I have often wondered exactly what is the gay agenda. Here is an interesting little ditty I found today... I'll let you check out the site that I found this quote on in order to determine if it is genuine --- or if it is tongue in cheek. Either way, pretty funny!

"As every Christian knows, there is only one enemy that threatens our entire civilization. And I am, of course, not talking about Satan. I'm talking about those damned homosexuals! Yes, they give otherwise dull hair radiant highlights and our imperfect décor those fabulous flourishes that elude our more predictable heterosexual sensibilities, but at what price? In exchange for a little panache, we allow homosexuals to steal our children and destroy our Christian marriages. And how do they do this? With their secret masterplan -- The Homosexual Agenda!"

What will your gay agenda be today? Share it below...
if ... you ... dare!

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Gay or Straight: One Leg at a Time

One of my favorite sources for humor highlighted this topic:

“Same-sex couples are virtually identical to opposite-sex couples when it comes to age, income, and child rearing according to census data released in the United States. … Just goes to show you, gay people really aren’t all that different from straight people. Except for our extrasensory abilities and ability to wither your crops by blinking, that is.”

So, if this is the case, then why do so many straight people still spend their energies spreading the angst and animosity? Seriously. Gay or straight, we all put our pants on one leg at a time.

Reasons to leave the lifestyle

I did not author the below “reasons” and to say that I don't agree with them would be an understatement. Several of them are just so far out of left field… especially when the writer of the reasons stated their goal was to: “To bring people to a closer relationship to Jesus Christ. To express and encourage others who may be struggling with a particular struggle and to offer a biblical lifestyle alternative to their struggle.”

As an aside, it always strikes me as funny when someone labels same-sex relationships a “lifestyle.” Lifestyle can be defined as “a person's pattern of living as expressed by their interests, motivations, activities, desired experiences, and beliefs.” I know the reason they label it a lifestyle is so that they can assert their belief that one can simply “choose” not to live a certain lifestyle.

Here they are, “Top 10 Reasons to Leave the Lesbian Life Style” as defined by that author.

*(Comments in red are mine.)

10. In order to get rid of your Reprobate mind. (Reprobate? “not of standard purity or fineness; disallowed; rejected”… who decides what rejects a person and their mind in this manner? Aren’t there a whole list of things that “straight” humans can engage in to be “reprobate”?)

9. No more feeling like everyone is watching you and staring at you (because they are.) (Well now, there are many people who are just that self-conscious… and I highly doubt it has to do anything with their sexual orientation!)

8. No more worring [sic] if you look gay (because you did.) (A show of hands please, anyone who is gay or lesbian out there… is this really a worry for you? And if you did “graduate” from “exodus intl.” would that change how you look?)

7. No more trying to please God and your lover (you can now just please God.) (My mom is a heterosexual… and she could never please God and her spouse. When she came home from church, my father regularly accused her of loving God more than him. This is not a sexual orientation issue, it is a poor quality spouse issue.)

6. No more feeling like your [sic] never good enough (becuase [sic] you were not.) (Many people who reveal that they don’t feel like they are “good enough” do not give sexual orientation as their reasoning.)

5. No more feeling jealous everytime [sic] your lover didn’t phone or call. (This one also is no respecter of sexual orientation! If this exists in a relationship, it is unfortunate, but it is another of these reasons that is not inherent to same-sex relationships!)

4. No more fighting with your abusive lover. (There are as many, or more, opposite sex couples that this would be descriptive of--so it is not simply a "benefit" of casting off a same-sex relationship.)

3. No more feeling like you can’t live with out that person (because you can.) (Pardon me? See any of my above comments as to why this also is not inherent to same-sex relationships.)

2. No more feeling guilty about going to church. (Because now you can go and be guilt free.) …(what?)

1. Heaven it’s a wonderful place. (Now you can feel good about going there.) (For anyone out there who is gay and Christian… do you have a thought on these last two? Sounds like “works salvation” to me.)

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Bucket List?

Well, at least that is one thing taken care of. 

(Now, on to the rest of the list... Hmm.)

Second-class citizens

 

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lgbt

Two steps forward, three steps back

So much hope was in the air when the current President was elected in 2008. Not only hope--but promise for change. Has there been any substantive change from this President who pledged to be a fierce advocate for the LGBT community?

Yesterday the Senate shot down attempts to repeal DADT. Senate Republicans blocked an effort to allow gays to serve openly in the military leaving the hope to repeal the "don't ask, don't tell" policy on the shelf. That is one of many steps back. 
The repeal of DOMA has not even come a fraction of the distance that DADT traveled. And with the Republicans taking the majority rule in January, it seems more likely that there would actually be a snowball in hell before DADT or DOMA would be repealed in America.
So, it looks like we had two baby steps forward (at least the hope of that) but in reality we as a country are heading three steps back with regards to inclusion and equality.

Where is the fierce advocate? Not only for LGBT issues, but for middle class concerns (as in tax cuts for the middle class without tax cuts for the richest 1% of Americans), for the unemployed of America? Honestly, what kind of politicians "hold hostage" extending unemployment benefits unless the President granted tax cuts for the richest citizens. Then again, what kind of fierce advocate would capitulate to hostage takers?

What are they so afraid of?

Why are people so often afraid of things they do not understand? And furthermore, why do people lash out in anger to mask their fear of the unknown or misunderstood?

Come out, come out, wherever you are!

Tomorrow happens to be National Coming Out day for the LGBT community. Usually that is a time where gay and lesbian individuals talk about their coming out stories.
It can be an important part of the journey to share the history of one's coming out. It would be nice to know that we all lived in a safe enough environment that we could all freely share the stories of the journey of our lives.
There are still so many who are bullied, stalked, harassed, belittled and besieged. Why? Not simply because they may be gay... mostly because of fear and ignorance on the part of the bully.
Why do others spend more of their energy tormenting others than they do taking responsibility for their own lives? This should be a salient question this "coming out day."
When will everyone finally come out of their own "closet" of fear, hate, selfishness, ignorance, and dysfunction and finally just live their own life without destroying other people's lives? Maybe tomorrow... maybe one day.

The M Word

Two of the biggest equality issues that our current President pledged to be a fierce advocate for once he was elected are DADT ("Don't ask don't tell") and DOMA ("Defense of marriage act"). Whether it is equality for those seeking to serve in our military or for all who wish to seek marriage in America, it is clear that politicians are dedicated to whipping up their conservative base into a lather in order to prevent forward movement in the equality movement.

One more case in point today. Senator John McCain successfully led a Republican filibuster of the National Defense Authorization Act (NDAA), to which the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” is attached. Wait, didn't McCain state that he would support the repeal of DADT as long as the top military brass supported it?

"The day that the leadership of the military comes to me and says, 'Senator, we ought to change the policy,' then I think we ought to consider seriously changing it," McCain said in October 2006 to an audience of Iowa State University students. 

One ray of hope, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid has committed to bringing the bill back up following the election. Here's hoping the mid-term elections don't net more conservative base "tea" lovers sitting in the valuable moderate seats in Congress.