Pride!!!!!

You can tell when your life has become way too busy when you do not have time to go to your local city's pride week and attend the parades & celebrations. We missed Philly Pride Week this year. Maybe next year! :)

What was your "coming out" experience like?           

Share in comments here below... or at either of my "coming out" related posts at the original Bridges blog.

What's in a name?

As a female who was married to a male for more than a decade - and then found the love of my life in a female - it is been very difficult when people want to "label" (Way _off_ TARGET!) me. What is _IN_ a "name"? Does the outward label change who we are inside? All I know is we all deserve to be who we are without Borders without lines without labels.

Jesus loves outlaws

Jesus was an outlaw, Jesus loves outlaws. And Jesus even loves these folks too.

I know they say that ignorance is bliss, but seriously, why be ignorant?

GLBT

same sex marriage

same-sex-relationships

lgbt

religion-and-politics

PS- there is no gay agenda! 

We did not start the fire

Has anyone ever really changed their position on anything because of a sign? Who are these people who feel it to be their mission in life to chide and condemn others with paper placards?
If you must go there, what part of "all have sinned and fall short" do people forget? And why is "gay" the most sign worthy sin?
Now, here is an excellent -- must read -- article addressing some of these things. 



same sex marriage
Marriage & Relationship Recognition

I Want a New Drug

“Love is like a narcotic. At first it brings the euphoria of complete surrender. The next day, you want more. You’re not addicted yet, but you like the sensation, and you think you can still control things. You think about the person you love for two minutes, and forget them for three hours. But then you get used to that person, and you begin to be completely dependent on them. Now you think about him for three hours and forget him for two minutes. If he’s not there, you feel like an addict who can’t get a fix. And just as addicts steal and humiliate themselves to get what they need, you’re willing to do anything for love.”

― Paulo Coelho

behavior

musings

a lesbian tale

Once upon a time there were two girls who loved one another, but had not had time away from being Mom's in such a very long time. A fortunate opportunity finally presented itself, and the two girls went to spend a day away from all the responsibilities of home life.
A good meal out, a nice room away, a huge TV with an even larger tub. All was well in this lesbian tale... 
Until...
One of the lovely lesbian ladies made her way out of the tub and into her pajamas and made the jaunt across the room to climb into the king sized bed. Sounds like a pretty good tale so far, doesn't it?
Here comes the sound of the needle being torn off the record... 

What possibly could have happened next?

Before the sapphic sister could hop into bed, she stepped on something on the floor... it was a used condom!  Are you kidding me? At a major National Hotel chain charging triple digits for their room? Surely you jest.
But, alas it was true. This lesbian tale had been interrupted by an unbelievably unexpected and unpleasant irony.
After the "hazmat team" was called in to remove the offending latex, the two girls attempted to purge the memory from their minds and the germs from their feet and then drift off to sleep.
At least it would make for a good story, the ladies thought. And so it did. 

GLBT 

lgbt

facebook for lesbians

if a picture paints a thousand words... 

gay-life

lgbt
GLBT

There's no place like home...

For better or worse... it all starts at home. 
Whether children are raised to carry on their parent's homophobia as they go out into the world, or whether they are raised within a safe, loving but non-traditional home -- each next generation often lives their lives according to the framework that was initially built at home.  
One example of the way homes are changing is a 25 year study that shows kids of lesbian couples are the recipients of a great parenting environment in which to be nurtured and reared.

There are many struggles that gay and lesbian families cope with on a regular basis. Such as: not being acknowledged in their communities as “real” families, constant barrage of persecution from ex’s or other family and friends who come to the table with their own acrimony, compounded by the lack of family and relationship protections (“rights”).
All families have challenges! Whether they are comprised of “nuclear” or blended, or LGBT members… safely guiding children to adulthood is not for the faint of heart! No matter how many longitudinal studies there are, there will always be detractors. 

Why are you gay?

One afternoon I was hanging out at a BBQ with a bunch of friends. Most of them happened to be lesbians. I don't remember how the conversation started, and I don't even remember what I said. What I do remember is at one point of the ladies interjected: "nobody chooses to be gay, you're born that way." I don't think I believed that at that point. The life(style) I was raised within made sexual orientation all about a "choice" and a "lifestyle." So, what else would I have believed about my orientation?

First, some levity on the topic.
See how you do at matching up the terms with the definitions. Pretty funny stuff!  

“In our culture, it used to be that a woman was either gay or she wasn’t. Nowadays we have so many words to describe ourselves; it would take a task force of PhDs in queer vernacular of the day, or a very skilled clairvoyant to decipher them all.”

Match the following concepts with their definitions listed below.

_ born to be a lesbian

_ converted lesbian

_ lesbian by choice

_ bisexual

_ transsexual

_ fluid sexual identity

a) a former heterosexual who finally admitted her disillusionment, dumped her husband & became a lesbian

b) a woman who possesses the yet to be found lesbian gene

c) only her surgeon knows for sure

d) a woman who has experimented with both males & females before deciding on the better sex

e) a free spirit who wants her (beef) cake and Edith, Suzie, Mary and other females too.

Now, secondly... more serious discussion on the topic. 

Why am I gay?

What’s the first answer that comes to your mind?

• I’m being tested by God to see if I’ll remain obedient and faithful.
• I’m being tempted by the enemy who wants to destroy me.
• I was born with a defect in my personality or a genetic flaw.
• Something happened to me in my childhood.
• I gave into sin because I was spiritually weak.
• I was just born gay.
• I’m not really gay. I only fell in love with a woman.

Depending on where you are in the reconciliation process your answer to the question might be different today than it was last week or last month, and different than it might be a year from now. (cont.)

I have thought about that simple proclamation from that friend at that BBQ off and on through the years. Is she right? I don't know.

A blogger friend over at the Unseen Disciple has written a thorough article on this whole ongoing debate over whether one chooses to be gay or is born gay.
Here is an excerpt, but there is much before and after this excerpt worth soaking in.

[...]“It is true that on some level, there is a choice to be gay. But it isn’t a choice about the state of affairs over which we have no control. We cannot deliberate over ends! A state of being is an end, so I cannot choose that state of being. What I can choose is my behavior. So I can choose to be unacceptable but authentic (or ‘congruent with myself’ as my friend has it), which I chose at 40, or I can choose to be acceptable but inauthentic. Ugly choice! But note I don’t choose the authenticity or the acceptability, but the paths or my actions that will promote one set or the other.

...We do make choices. We can’t escape making choices. To quote Sartre, we are condemned to be free—we cannot but choose. And as gays, we are forced to choose between authenticity and acceptability. But that’s speaking loosely. Being more careful with our terms, we are forced to choose between those actions which will promote authenticity and those which will promote acceptability.” [...]

Why are you gay?

same-sex-relationships
gay-life
lgbt
GLBT

Meaning behind my blog name

One of my blog buddies posted on this topic and it got me thinking about how and why I started this blog. Let me see here. It was the Fall of 2006...

One of my 3 jobs at the time was working for a non-profit (Christian) counseling center. I liked working there because it brought in a wide variety of clientele consisting of individuals who needed help, but were not finding objective professional help in the church environment. I had been working there about 6 months when the director called me into his office. Not unusual. But this time he had that foreboding look on his face. He stated that they had gotten an "anonymous tip" via email (how can an email be anonymous?). Bottom line? The email sender stated they were going to withdraw their financial support of that counseling center while they were "harboring a lesbian" (rolling my eyes). My boss then gave me the DADT line (you know, "you don't have to say anything"). But how could I keep working there and hiding who I was? So I did "tell"... and was released from my job. I couldn't believe it. This was a professional place of business who employed credentialed professionals to administer mental health services (this was not a church). And this company was actually in a city that had a well known non-discrimination ordinance. The catch? It was a non-profit company and therefore not held accountable by the law.

Sure, I still had 2 other jobs. But the experience was surprisingly disappointing. My partner noted that I should "write about it." I didn't really have a venue to write about it... until my son suggested starting a blog. Perfect. An "anonymous" outlet on the Internet to write about my experiences and feelings. Would anyone read it? Who knew. Who cared! I had a place to vent. And I did, even citing the city ordinance and discussing how ridiculous it is that the "separation of church and state" thing gives non-profit companies the right to ignore the laws of the land.

The name of my original blog at blogger? "Burning or Building Bridges in the Community." That name came directly from the motto of the company above that fired me solely due to my sexual orientation, which was "building bridges in the community." They were not building bridges in the community.

My blog was actually at blogger for about a year and a half, at which time I discovered that my blog had been unexpectedly “locked” and was viewable only by me (if I logged in). I looked into this in blogger’s help groups, and apparently, there were many other blogger authors in this limbo presently as well! Evidently, at the beginning of 2008 blogger began a crack down. (e.g.: flagging what they thought were “spam blogs”). The problem with their “crack down” is the sheer volume of blogs for blogger to scan left lots of room for error. In December ’08 I received the following from Blogger: “Since you’re an actual person reading this, your blog is probably not a spam blog. Automated spam detection is inherently fuzzy, and we sincerely apologize for this false positive.” Without remedy I just decided to move my blog.

I was very happy with my new blog home at WordPress from April 2008 until about January of 2010. Around that time, some trolls who "knew" me through knowing my partner, infested my blog. I discovered that my "anonymous" blog space to share and vent and write was no longer a safe space. I still wanted to be able to blog from time-to-time, and hoped that the trolls would have actually have moved on with their own sordid lives and were not still  hunting around the Internet to see what I may be writing about. (It's not like there is a First Amendment to the Constitution of America or anything that would protect my ability to freely write whatever I choose to about my life).   I then chose to make the WordPress blog "private." Those who had access could still read it, but it was necessary to close the windows to the unwelcome.

So here I am back at Blogger. My blog name changed slightly with this move to "Bridge Travels on the Journey." The original reason behind the name of my blog no longer really applied to the content, and since my Bridges blog itself had so many travels and I still wanted to share some portions of my journey -- I opted for the name modification. 


That's pretty much the story right there.  Thank you to you kind and genuine souls who are still walking the bridge with me all these years later.

Why am I a lesbian?

Well, or something like that.
I have shared some of the reasons why I am a lesbian...

lesbian-life
lesbians

You just may be a lesbian

You might be a lesbian, if… (you know, in the spirit of Jeff Foxworthy’s “you might be a redneck.” Think this could catch on?)
…you are a woman who is watching “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” and thinking to yourself that Angelina Jolie is way cooler than Brad Pitt in any scene of the movie!
... It's not scientific or anything...