Wednesday, October 24, 2012

A Time to Burn

This picture seems like quite a fitting bookmark for my blog, considering it is the 6 year anniversary of when I first started my Building or Burning Bridges Blog. The years have gone fast and the days have gone slow. There have been many bridges I have traveled--some have led to beautiful places, others have shown me where not to traverse again.

A time to build... and a time to burn.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Less like scars...

What the devil is Turkish Delight? Well, many may already know that it is is a confection made from starch and sugar. It is often flavored with rosewater or lemon. OK beyond the kitchen. What is the deal with Turkish Delight?
The below will illustrate further the context to which I am referring, and the place from which I am posting:
Turkish Delight ends up being the addictive confection to which Edmund Pevensie succumbs in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C. S. Lewis.
Where do I begin with my thoughts on this?

Edmund Pevensie, while in Narnia he meets the White Witch, who plies him with treats (Turkish Delight) and smooth talk. Tempted by the White Witch’s promise of power and seemingly unending supplies of Turkish Delight, Edmund betrays his siblings, but eventually regrets his actions.
That is a pretty good place to start with where my thoughts are.
When I was young and did not wear nearly as many scars as I do now, I remember hearing that story for the first time and thinking “I cannot believe that Edmund totally betrayed his loved ones– all for some silly candy — Turkish Delight!”  Well, as with most everything else in my life, I should know better than to ascribe judgment to anyone or anything unless I have walked in that person’s shoes or experienced those circumstances.
Why is it that humans can be so easily led astray by things that look good, that taste good — that promise to fulfill us or fill our hungers? Why is it that we could so easily forget that there are others out there that love us and are counting on us — as we look away from them and look deeply into the eyes of what is in front of us wooing? I don’t know the answers to those questions. But I now know how easy all of those mistakes are to make — now that I am older and possess many more scars.
Does anyone else remember the part of the story with Edmund and the “White Witch”? His siblings tried to warn him. I think Edmund even called her another name other than “White Witch” — like a "queen." It didn’t seem like it was all that long before the sweet tones, open arms, warm blankets and fresh “Turkish Delight” offered by the Queen of the North (or White Witch) were all taken swiftly away from Edmund. Taken… just at the very moment that he wanted it so very badly! And not only that, but as I remember it — the delicious confections he had eaten eventually turned sour in his stomach and he felt very ill.
In the beginning, the confections of this world offered by those who seem lovely beckon so sweetly. “Come! Taste me! You will love me! You have never had anything like me!” And then, just as we get comfortable and accustomed to the receiving of such wooing and satisfaction? That is the very moment it is snatched from out of our hands. That is the very moment (metaphorically speaking) that the “Queen” becomes the “Witch.” And that is the very moment that whatever it was that we were taking into ourselves begins to turn sour within us and sicken us.
Not only that, as if that was not enough of a sad end to such a misadventure, but others that truly love us end up being hurt as well. It is not enough that we are humiliated because we fell for the oldest ruse in history — but also that people we love (and would never intentionally hurt) end up being hurt very much.
Poor Edmund goes through quite a time after this. Aslan does appear in order to rescue Edmund… but at a price. Those who are familiar with the story know the price exacted in this instance to redeem Edmund.
In the present day real-world realm, there is often a price to be paid for being led away from the ones we love as well. Why are these painful lessons so many times learned the hard way? I do not know the answer to that question. But I am grateful for redemption and grace, and I am grateful as time passes that the wounds look less like scars and more like character. 

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Knowing which bridges...

It is important indeed to make the best choices we know how at any given point on the journey.

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Friday, August 24, 2012

Online Blender

What do you get when you mix 

  • a dash of Blogger, 
  • a pinch of Pintrest, 
  • a teaspoon of Twitter, 
  • a cup of Instagram and then 
  • add facebook to taste?
Not quite sure really, but it's called Tumblr and it looks interesting... so far.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

What will come of the 2012 Election?

I don't have a great deal of time (or patience) to follow politics, but I can't help but be disheartened when I see the canvas of the 2012 election being painted by ultra conservative individuals who desire to set the country back years in the name of "progress."

President Obama has been the 1st president to support equal rights for same sex unions. President Obama successfully led the repeal of DADT. These are likely 2 reasons that reactionary conservatives may vote against Obama. You see, a vote for Romney may be in many cases more accurately a vote against Obama. The lesser of 2 evils as it were. What ever happened to the separation of church and state anyway?
Here is an article why some people will be voting for Obama. I am looking for real reasons why conservatives will be voting for Romney. Many conservative voters have historically been evangelical Christians. How do mainstream Christians feel about Romney being a Mormon? Well, as I said above, it seems like a conservative may just vote for anyone who is against any gay rights issues.
Here is a link for a fairly current map of how the electoral votes currently fall in favor of each candidate. Time will tell how the polls eventually shake out, and what actually happens in the November 2012 vote.


Saturday, August 11, 2012

One Thing Straight

Let's get one thing straight here... if you can read the below and still justify your bias against gay relationships? Well, then I guess the moon is also made of green cheese. (Yes, of course that is a non sequitur... oh well!).



PS- there is no gay agenda!  

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Does "PRIDE" hurt the LGBT cause?

It's that time of year again! In many cities all over the country today is PRIDE day!

And the question above is one that a couple gay male friends and I were discussing recently. The discussion went something like this.

We spend every other day of the year trying to "be taken seriously" -- trying to show the straight community that we don't have a "lifestyle" rather we have a "normal life." We go to work, take care of our families, pay our taxes, etc... "Normal."

But then for one weekend a year we as an LGBT community bring out our freak flag and fly it on main street America -- in a full blown live and in color parade fashion no less!

Are PRIDE parades and festivals a bad thing? Of course not! I have been to, and enjoyed, several!

And my favorite thing about PRIDE weekend has always been being able to wander around holding hands with my lover without people throwing things at me. And yet, at the risk of getting things "thrown at me" here -- I have to admit that I have "cringed" at some aspects of the PRIDE parades I have seen. Why??? Only because I knew that the straight community also sees them and will use the "freak flag flying moments" as ammunition to discriminate against the gay community the rest of the year (and especially in an election year).

Back to the question. Does "PRIDE" hurt the LGBT cause? I don't know. But, be that as it may, my LGBT friends, enjoy your PRIDE weekend! And always let your freak flag fly!




Thursday, May 10, 2012

The 1st President to support...

...same-sex marriage in American history is our current President, Obama. USA Today is calling it a "political gamble," but the White House spokesman was quick to clarify that it was President Obama's personal opinion, and that he still believes the marriage equality issue should still ultimately be up to each individual State's decision.
Bridge's readers know why I am not "for" gay marriage anymore... and that is basically because no matter what each State decides, without DOMA being repealed, in the end it nets the LGBT community very little as far as Federally recognized relationship rights and protections.


Sunday, April 22, 2012

a recess and a nap

I saw this drawing at one of my blog travel destinations… I pulled out these couple of the frames you see below from the comic here.
These two frames were important to highlight right now because of all the stress and distress that exists in my world. Working so hard to be effective at work, and to maintain healthy boundaries at home. Through it all feeling so very exhausted and overwhelmed by the onslaughts of thoughtless boundary breaking and stability threatening events. And wondering “why? I am so exhausted and just not feeling well?" Probably because my inner child is screaming from within me — just hoping for a recess and a nap!!!


“Everyone needs beauty as well as bread, places to play and pray, where nature heals and give strength to body and soul alike.” – John Muir

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

We did not start the fire

Has anyone ever really changed their position on anything because of a sign? Who are these people who feel it to be their mission in life to chide and condemn others with paper placards?
If you must go there, what part of "all have sinned and fall short" do people forget? And why is "gay" the most sign worthy sin?
Now, here is an excellent -- must read -- article addressing some of these things. 

 same sex marriage
 Marriage & Relationship Recognition

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Mission of Mercy

Later this week I am traveling across country to visit my Mom. I have not seen her for years. I have been busy being a Mom and working to pay the bills. My Mom has not made any trips either. She is in her 60s, still works full time. She survives, but that is about all. After somehow making it though decades of torture at the hands of my father, all she had left in her was energy to survive. Recently I heard from my brother that my Mom has lost her will to live. So, now I hope that somehow--in addition to going to her Dr. with her--I can find a way to infuse some life into her during my few days with her.
Below is a story I read a while ago that reminded me that my mission of mercy with my Mom this week is less about doing... and more about being.

It was 77-year-old Jungian analyst and author Marion Woodman who captured my imagination with her address on “Women, Power and Soul.” 
Her questions were clear: “How do you hold presence for others? How do you hold love for others, with no agenda? Who really saw you and heard you and didn’t ask for something in return?”
Her message was compelling, and yet it paled in comparison to what I heard next.
During a stay in India, Marion became very sick with dysentery, captive in her hotel room for weeks. Finally, desperate to escape the room, she gingerly made her way to the hotel foyer one afternoon to sit and write a letter to her husband. Sitting quite near the end of a long, empty couch, she began to write.
Soon, though there were many other seats available, a very large brown woman came and squeezed between Marion and the end of the couch, so close to her that their arms were touching, so close that it made it difficult, even impossible, for Marion to write.
Marion scooted away, angry at the invasion of her space. The woman scooted closer, pushing up against her. “Every time I moved, she moved, until,” as Marion described it, “we ended up at the other end of the couch.”
Once she stopped moving away, Marion realized what a nice, big, warm arm the woman had, and so they sat, a thin bird of a pale white woman and a big brown woman, arm to arm. Not sharing a common language, they couldn’t speak, but sat in silence. Marion gave in to the broad warm arm, the presence of the other, and relaxed into her.
The next day, she went again to the hotel foyer to write. And, again, the woman came and sat touching her, next to her, silently. And the third day. And the fourth day, as Marion’s health improved.
This couch dance continued for a week. And one day, a man appeared as the two women finished their silent, warm-armed vigil.
“You’re all right now. My wife won’t come back tomorrow,” he said to Marion, nodding toward her couch compatriot. “Your wife?,” she thought to herself, startled at his intimacy. “Why is she here in the first place?”
She was unprepared for his quiet and simple answer.
“I saw you were dying and I sent her to sit with you. I knew the warmth of her body would bring you back to life,” he said.
It took a moment for the magnitude of his message and the enormity of what these two strangers had done for her to sink in.
“She did save my life,” Marion said quietly in recounting the story. “That this woman would take the time to sit with me…and, most importantly, that I could receive it…
 "That," said Marion Woodman, “is relatedness.”
That is what it means to hold presence for others.
PS- My Mom has always been a brilliant musician. I sure hope I get to hear her play the piano when I am there. When I saw her last, she did sit and play for me. When she was done with her magnificent piece of music, she looked up at me with tears in her eyes and said "I haven't lost it." No, Mom, you haven't.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Once upon a time in the PNW

It is hard to believe that it has already been 8 years this coming week since the joyous surprise occurred of Multnomah county Oregon opening their doors to issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples. We stood in line at the Multnomah County Court house with  thousands of other folks in the rain for a few hours, and then walked over to Keller Auditorium and stood in another line briefly until one of the many officiants provided by Basic Rights Oregon performed our ceremony.
However, thanks to G.W.Bush and the 2004 election, that equal standing lasted just over one year. It was a good year nonetheless.
We are coming up on another election later this year, and I have to admit I am not at all encouraged by the prospects -- the 2012 candidates -- who likely do not have equality for all law-abiding Americans as part of their platform. Oh well, life is not a fairy tale... and that's why I am hard pressed to believe in gay marriage anymore.

 Marriage & Relationship Recognition
 same sex marriage
 gay marriage
 domestic partnership