tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-911327164732699874.post1102279878330883427..comments2023-06-18T03:07:19.697-07:00Comments on Bridge Travels on the Journey: Fear: friend or foeAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05201502933900406065noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-911327164732699874.post-18704001283980436172011-05-02T08:29:16.859-07:002011-05-02T08:29:16.859-07:00Good to read your further thoughts on this... And ...Good to read your further thoughts on this... And sister, I gotta tell ya... I must be the head of the fan club of nearly always having to learn the hard way. Why is this such a part of the human condition?Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05201502933900406065noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-911327164732699874.post-33405057584689679232011-04-30T23:30:51.513-07:002011-04-30T23:30:51.513-07:00Ah yes - I guess I misunderstood the post. I susp...Ah yes - I guess I misunderstood the post. I suspect my personal history plays into that... fear has been a primary driving force in my life, and I can honestly say it has brought me no wisdom, but has instead crippled my perspective, limited my options, and brought on the kind of ill health I wouldn't have expected to see until my 70s, if ever. <br /><br />Love, on the other hand, brings healing and freedom.<br /><br />However, I am able to cognitively grasp that you're talking about something else when you use the word fear. Perhaps I might use the term clarity, but it sounds like you're describing that moment when you realize that you're at a turning point, and the choices you make are going to affect your life in profound ways. Some of us have better skills at sensing the routes to safety and freedom - and wisdom. Others learn the hard way or struggle to learn at all...MakingSpacehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09512337949478137031noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-911327164732699874.post-17851602983161066252011-04-28T06:05:23.060-07:002011-04-28T06:05:23.060-07:00I am often fascinated by what folks take away from...I am often fascinated by what folks take away from reading a post. While your comment is a wise and thoughtful one, it doesn't reflect the intent of the main message I was trying to convey. But then I realize that communication is really not what we say, but what others hear. <br />I believe that abuse is never "okay" -- even if it is "only occasionally." Doesn't mean that many of us are not occasionally treated badly -- that is never cool! <br />That last paragraph was more by way of illustration... something of an "ah ha!" moment. HOWEVER, I have definitely learned through the years that LOVE is a much more powerful (and healthier) motivator than fear.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05201502933900406065noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-911327164732699874.post-10880267620796799542011-04-27T22:29:51.014-07:002011-04-27T22:29:51.014-07:00OK, so, if she's been abusive in the past, I g...OK, so, if she's been abusive in the past, I get that fear. It's a sign, then, of self-awareness and the simple realization that she will be alone if she behaves abusively toward you.<br /><br />But if she's treating you well out of fear of abandonment, I think that's really sad. I mean, I get that, I understand that fear, but I don't think it's the beginning of wisdom. Not unless it leads us to some inner clarity about our own intrinsic worth with or without another person.<br /><br />For me, that's a lifelong journey.<br /><br />I speak as another who lives with the fear that I'll behave like shit and be left - and all the therapy I've been through to come to even a glimmering of a smidgen of a piece of an understanding that really, at the end of the day, there's probably nothing wrong with how I treat people.<br /><br />I do hope you are well treated in your relationship. I also hope that good treatment comes, at least in part, from some place other than fear of being left. 'Cause....ouch....MakingSpacehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09512337949478137031noreply@blogger.com